All throughout my life I’ve always surrounded myself with many people I called friends. I was always there for them to pick them up when they were down, give advice, give a shoulder to cry on. They knew I was someone they could trust. When it came time that I needed someone to be there for me, someone I could trust. I had no one. My friends would desert me. I couldn’t trust them. I didn’t want to share all my emotions with my parents, so I just kept them bottled up inside. I didn’t take my problems to God. I felt a void in my life. I became depressed. I began to take prescription pain medication excessively, and started cutting myself, and had suicidal thoughts. I made new friends, and they helped me fill the void with other things, like going out to parties. Those friends I couldn’t trust either. They betrayed me, walked all over me and used me. I put on a mask for my friends, my family, my church. I was still the happy-go-lucky Natalie that everyone knew. Never sharing my problems with anyone, and not giving them to God. I’ve been struggling with filling the void and have been slipping back into the wrong things. This is a burden I carried into Boot Camp. During Boot Camp God spoke to me through a speaker. He tugged on my heart. He told me to throw off my mask and come back to him. I came to Him, gave Him my burden and now I am a whole new person. I feel like God has made me new.
Natalie – Malawi Foot Washing #08